Hay gurls! This post is for all you Ru Paul's Drag Race watchers, and if you don't watch the show, you must check it out. It's like America's Next Top Model but gayer and crazier. It's not for kids, but when the hell has anything on this blog been for kids.
It's hilarious and I love it.
No tea, no shade!
Please enjoy these cocktails as you untuck in the Interior Illusions Lounge.
"Loca!" - Nina Flowers
1 1/2 oz gin
1 oz St. Germain (elderflower liqueur)
simple syrup, to taste tiny
splash of orange blossom water
juice of half a juicy lime
few dashes of Scrappy's cardamom bitters (or any bitters you have)
Serve this drink on the rocks, best to shake all ingredients in a shaker first, but not necessary. Garnish with edible flowers (found at Whole Foods or Sprouts, near the herbs)
Some people refer to Season 1 of Ru Paul's Drag Race as the "Lost Season."
Nina Flowers begs to differ:
Never forget where you came from queen, how else will you know where you're going, huntyyy?
"Bitch! I am from Chicago!" - Mystique Summer Madison
2-4 oz vodka (or your favorite liquor)
fill rest of way with sweetened tea
fresh lemon juice, to taste
fresh mint and lemon slices for garnish
Serve over ice in a mason jar, preferably.
I was never a huge fan of Morgan McMichaels, and neither was Mystique:
Don't forget to enjoy this hard sweet tea the Mystique Summer Madison way: with a two-piece and a biscuit.
All tea, all shade.
"You'll Never Be Glamour." - Shangela Laqueffa Wadley
1/2 oz Pimms No 1
top off glass with champagne
garnish with a glamorous edible flower, or a lime twist
This drink had to glamorous, hence the champs. But don't feel like you can't enjoy it even if your campy.
Shangela Laqueffa Wadley always offers drinks to non-glamorous queens, see:
"Bar Queen!" - Willam Belli
muddle basil leaves with a shot of bourbon
strain it into a shot glass and slam it
So much potential.
So much shade.
"I don't get cute, I get drop dead gorgeous." - Alyssa Edwards
1 1/2 oz white rum
1 oz coconut rum
splash of pineapple juice
top off with red bull, since that's Alyssa's favorite drink
Serve on the rocks and garnish with your favorite fruits, I used raspberries and blackberries.
Alyssa is probably the most entertaining queen of all to me.
I mean, just behold her majesty:
Oohh, gurl, you look a little busted when you do that.
Ooooo! Bitch you got back rolls and you wearing a two-piece?!
She just read me the house down.
"I feel very attacked!" - Laganja Estranja
1 1/2 oz high proof alcohol (Everclear or Bacardi 151)
1 oz orange liqueur
3 oz fresh squeezed orange juice
few dashes orange bitters
garnish with an orange slice
Serve it straight up, no ice to dilute this drink!
Also, serve in a hot pink glass, if possible (see below).
This drink is meant to be super strong and make you feel, well, you know:
"I had crystallized" - Kennedy Davenport
fill a short glass with crushed ice
1 1/2 oz peach vodka
1 1/2 oz peach puree (frozen peaches and enough water to blend and then strain)
simple syrup, to taste
1/2 oz lemon juice
sprig of thyme and peach slice for garnish
If you want a really herbaceous drink, muddle a thyme sprig with the strained peach puree, otherwise just use the thyme sprig as a garnish (like I did) to give an herbal scent to the drink.
The quote that started it all:
Here's a video of the quote. It's so worth it to watch it.
Now that we have a cocktail for every season, it's time for a few honorable mentions though the artistic medium of GIFs.
First, we must honor the queen of all queens, Miss RuPaul herself:
I see you!
Can I get an amen?!
Ru Paul, you are everything and you slay my life and I'm so glad Ru Paul's Drag Race exists, the world is a better place because of it.
The next honorable mention is for one of my favorite queens of all time, Tatianna:
You're welcome Tati.
We love you Tati.
Also, Jujubee, I'll always have a place in my heart for your fishy ass!
And finally, I want to leave you with a montage of some of our favorite drag queens struggling with straws.
Ironic, isn't it?
*sips more tea*
And before anyone gets worked up for whatever reason, always remember: