Low-Fat Chia Seed & Cardamom Dressing

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 I love this dressing.

It feels really decadent, but it isn’t.

The chia seeds make me feel like I’m bettering myself and my community. The cardamom is the not-so-secret, secret ingredient.

This dressing also makes a great dip with veggies. So much better than ranch and way better for you.

Ok, so this is what you need:

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The labneh and vinegar are flexible. Plain or greek yogurt work just as well and you can use any wine vinegar or lemon/lime juice for the acid component.

You need cardamom as well:

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 Ground cardamom is available at Indian or Middle Eastern markets. Just get the smallest packet they have.

Measure out a 1/4 cup of labneh/yogurt into a bowl:

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Add a tablespoon of vinegar, chia seeds, all the spices (don’t forget a little S&P) and combine.

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 Taste and adjust for seasonings (if too tart, add more yogurt). 

Store in an airtight container and refrigerate for up to a week or two.

Hopefully it doesn’t last that long.

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 Who said salads are boring?

I made a creamy Cucumber & Celery Salad with this dressing that is really light and satisfying.

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Gluten-Free Biscuits

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 There is no reason why you can’t have a biscuit.

I mean, there are a few reasons why you shouldn’t

But no real reason why you can’t. 

This recipe is for those moments. Those moments when you may not want to consume gluten but you really, really want a fucking biscuit so bad you can taste it.


This is for those moments, that I’m sure we all have. Right? Please. Right?

Anyway, this is what you need:

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I used a gluten-free all-purpose flour, the kind that Bob’s Red Mill makes. You can make your own, but if you’re not a big baker I find that it’s cheaper to just get the mix.

Xanthan gum. If you’re baking gluten-free you need xanthan gum or guar gum, otherwise your biscuits will fall apart and that’s just too damn sad for words.

The coconut milk is to replace the heavy cream/buttermilk found in most biscuits. A great dairy-free option.

First step is to get all your dry ingredients combined. I used a food processor with a dough blade. Also, if using a food processor make sure you are on the dough setting.

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You don’t need a food processor, of course.

How do you think they did it hundreds of years ago?

With their feet, duh, but that’s besides the point.

Anyway, get the coconut milk out of the can and mix it up until it’s all smooth and combined.

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Next you need to cut 6 tbsp (or the whole stick, fuck it) of very cold butter into the dough until it looks like pebbles.

You can use a pastry cutter or two knives.

If using a food processor, use the pulse setting only, you don’t want to over-work the dough.

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Now pour in the coconut milk and mix until combined.

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Place the dough onto a floured board and form into a rounded ball. 

Cover with plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for 30 mins or in the freezer for 15 mins if you’re as impatient as I am.

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After the dough has set, it should look something like this:

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Now. There are two schools of thought on the next phase of the biscuit making process.

The school of rolling and cutting:

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The school of hand forming and dropping:

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Since I’m into mixing things up, I decided to hand form and cut.

It fed both my wild-side and my inner control-freak, equally.

I don’t have a biscuit cutter so I just used a glass.

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I like the homemade look of hand forming, and cutting just ensures they all cook evenly.

I got six biscuits out of the dough.

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You want them touching each other a little, it helps them rise up to the powers that be.

I baked at 450F for about 30 mins. The time depends on how large the biscuits are. 

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 I wish you could smell them.

Oh, I almost forgot. Happy Mother’s Day!

You know, I’m a mother. I don’t have actual human kids but this blog is my baby. Which means I deserve a Mother’s Day gift. Which means you should get me one. Which means it has to be free. Which means you should subscribe to my blog:


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Coconut Ginger Coleslaw

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If you like coleslaw, you will love this version.

If you don’t like coleslaw, maybe you can try this one as a way to dip your toes in the coleslaw pond.

I promise it’s warm.

The metaphorical pond. Not the coleslaw. The coleslaw has to be cold.

Anyway, the real star of the show here is the dressing. So tropical and so yummy.

This is what you need to make it:

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 That’s powdered sugar. You can use regular sugar, or coconut sugar or stevia or crack. Whatever.

I used powdered sugar because it dissolves much easier into the dressing.

I don’t want grains of sugar in my slaw, y’know?

Ok, so plop the coconut milk into a bowl.

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It’s supposed to be separated like that. Just whisk, add all the ingredients (specific measurements in recipe card at end of post) and whisk again.

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This dressing can be made in advance. In fact, it’s better to make it the day before to let all the flavors develop.

While the dressing is chilling, shred all the veggies using a food processor or box grater.

I used a head each of green and purple cabbage, carrots and ginger.

Make sure to remove the cores of the cabbage before shredding.

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Place all the shredded veg into a large bowl, add some chopped green onions, as much dressing as your heart desires and toss!

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Add a little S&P and let it chill in the fridge for at least an hour to give the flavors a chance to come out of their shells and show you their true, fun personalities.

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I love this coleslaw.

So balanced.

Sweet and tangy.

Pretty and tasty.

Just like me, I mean you, I mean me.


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Paleo Candied Bacon

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 Oh mama.

These are seriously good. The perfect sweet, salty and spicy combo.

They’re like spiced mixed nuts, but bacon. Which is so much better, because bacon.

Totally Paleo too, so totally guilt-free. Ok, maybe not totally guilt-free. But definitely a yummy snack made out of paleo-friendly ingredients. If you’re not paleo-ing then use just brown sugar instead of coconut sugar. 

This is what you need:

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 The red chili flakes are optional.

I love the spicy kick but if you don’t like too much heat, the cinnamon alone will be enough.

Begin by preheating the oven to 350F.

Then place a wire rack on a lined baking sheet.

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 Lay the bacon on the rack.

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Sprinkle on enough coconut sugar to coat the bacon. I used about 1/4 – 1/3 cup.

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Drizzle on as much maple syrup as your heart desires.

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Remember to use pure maple syrup if you want to keep it Paleo. 

Smear or brush the syrup and sugar over the bacon to create a glaze.

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Finally, sprinkle on some cinnamon and red chili flakes, if you’re using them.

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Bake for about 20 minutes and then check on the bacon.

I felt like mine needed some more sugar to help create a thicker candy coating.

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 I then baked them for an additional 15 minutes until they were a deep brown, but not burnt!

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 I have no words.

*Walks backwards while making intense awkward eye contact*

*Starts walking forward again, still maintaining eye contact, asks you to subscribe to my blog while waving a piece of candied bacon in your face*


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Beet & Goat Cheese Salad w/ Orange Thyme Vinaigrette

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Time for a salad recipe!

After Cinco de Mayo, I may have had one Gluten-Free Baked Tortilla Chip too many and this salad is such a tasty way to get back on track. The dressing is a new favorite. I’m gonna try it on other salads and maybe even as a marinade. Hmmm…

If you’ve never tried this combo, you don’t know what your missing. Sweet roasted beets, tangy goat cheese and a little crunch from the pecans. Balance of flavors and textures all day er’day. The orange thyme vinaigrette sets this apart from other beet and goat cheese salads. So fresh and herb-y. 

 You need beets:

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Golden beets are so pretty. They’re so bright and colorful.

It’s like they’re constantly batting their eyelashes at me and making me blush and giggle. I love the mix of the two types of beets, but you can go for any kind.

You also need a small amount of goat cheese, so I got the tiniest size available.

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 Begin by preheating the oven to 400F.

Cut the tops and bottoms off of the beets. You can save the beet greens for another time and cook them like you would any dark leafy green.

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Separate the golden and red beets on separate sheets of foil (to prevent the red beets from bleeding and staining the golden beets), drizzle with oil and a liberal and democratic sprinkling of S&P.


Then wrap them up into little bundles of beet joy.

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Bake for about 50 minutes or until they are fork tender.

I usually bake until I catch a whiff of them, then I stick a fork in them and they are usually perfectly tender.

While the beets roast, make the Orange Thyme Vinaigrette.

You need orange and thyme, and time. And lame.

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 You need extra virgin olive oil as well. 

Remove the thyme leaves from their stem and place them in a small jar or bowl.

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Add the juice of an orange, an equal amount of olive oil and a dash of S&P.

Whisk or shake until emulsified and set aside or chill in the refrigerator. 

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Once the beets have cooked through, remove from the oven and allow to cool enough to handle.

The skins should peel off easily. A paper towel helps rub red beet skins off without staining your fingers.

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Slice the beets into rounds and set aside.

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Throw some spring greens into a bowl, drizzle some of the vinaigrette on and toss.

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Place on a platter and top with the sliced beets.

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Sprinkle on some goat cheese and pecans.

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Sprinkle on a final dusting of S&P and a tiny drizzle of dressing.

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The perfect bite.

Sweet, tangy, healthy and a little indulgent.


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Quinoa Salad w/ Cucumbers & Feta

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 This salad is so easy and simple to make and it has the perfect contrast of flavors. The fresh cucumber offers relief from the saltiness of the feta which cuts through the quinoa. Then a little green onion for that mild onion flavor and some ripped basil to freshen it all up. And lastly, some Chia seeds to give a little crunch and make me feel better about myself.

This salad is a great base for other ingredients. I thought about adding some of the shredded chicken I had left over from my Moroccan Roast Chicken, then I said let me make it vegan and then I added chicken when the cameras weren’t watching. Shhhhhh. 

Also, you could make this full on Greek by using red onion instead of green onion and adding some diced tomato and olives. Or I could’ve added loads of spices to the quinoa. Many ways to modify this and make it your own. Quinoa goes with any flavor you mix it up with. She’s a skank like that. Yes, quinoa is a she.

I was inspired to make this salad when I made a ton of East Meets West Chicken Stock from my Moroccan roast.  

So, this is what I used for my version:

quinoa salad cucumber feta 4 quinoa salad cucumber feta 3 I liked the simplicity of all green ingredients with a pop of white when I was making the dish. But, truth be told, I LOVE colorful things. Next time I make a quinoa salad it’s going to be so colorful and full of different ingredients. I’ll call it ….. my Rainbow Quinoa Salad!

I just had an “Aha!” moment. I feel like sometimes Oprah goes a little too overboard with the “Aha!” moment shit. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Oprah, I watched her OWN network from day one and Iyanla: Fix My Life is one of my favorites shows. Especially when Iyanla calls people out. Like when she called out that one chick who was in the middle of her sob story. Iyanla was like, “Hold, on. Let me cut through this. YOU WAS HOEIN’!”

Fucking classic. Check it out here. I lined it up at the exact spot, so that you don’t have to watch but a few seconds of pure television gold.

Oh ya, quinoa salad.

Start out by rinsing a cup of quinoa for a minute or two. This removes any bitterness on the outside of the quinoa called saponin. Google told me.

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After rinsing, take the extra step of lightly sautéing the quinoa in some oil with little pepper first, to enhance it’s yummy nutty flavor and give it some depth.

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After sautéing for a few minutes, add 2 cups of the chicken stock.

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Cook according to your package’s instructions. I brought it to a boil, stirred it, covered it, then reduced it to simmer and cooked it for 15 mins that way. Then I turned off the heat, left the cover on and let it sit like that for 5 more mins. Then I fluffed it with a fork and tried not to dive in head first. The smell from the fragrant stock I made was intoxicating.

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Once the quinoa was cooled, I added all the other ingredients.

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 I love all the green.

I used about half a block of feta, but you use how much you like based on how intense your feta is.

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Finally, add some chia seeds and a drizzle of champagne (or white wine, or red wine) vinegar and some oil. I used grapseed but olive oil is fine too.

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Toss the salad 😉


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 So, did you enjoy this post? If not, then I’m sorry and I still love me. If you did enjoy it, why don’t you type your email in the box below and you can keep enjoying my blog by subscribing to it? Great idea, huh? Your welcome 🙂


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Raw Broccoli Slaw

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This salad is a fun little play on coleslaw. It’s got lots of great textures: chewy raisins, crunchy almonds and crisp shredded broccoli. It’s super big on flavor too, the dressing packs a punch and is a handy salad dressing/dip to have in your repertoire. I never thought I would write repertoire. Especially not twice in the same paragraph.

So this is what you need. (Side note: I only used half the amount of broccoli in the picture, and twice the amount of raisins and almonds in the picture. So sorry for all the confusion.)

broccoli salad

So, the first thing you wanna do is get your broccoli prepped and shredded.

Allow me to demonstrate:

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I used a food processor, if you don’t have one a grater works just as well and doubles as cardio too!

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Oh, hi.

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Chop up the raisins and almonds and add that to a bowl with the shredded broccoli.

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Time to make the dressing. Mix all the ingredients for the dressing (found in the recipe card at the end of the post):

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It’s basically a spiced-up savory version of coleslaw dressing.

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Add it to the bowl with the broccoli, raisins and almonds.

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Stir and enjoy! It’s great after it’s had some time to sit so the flavors can meld.

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Pomegranate & Balsamic Glazed Brussels Sprouts

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Glazed brussels sprouts are the shit. They are like mini-cabbages that have caramelized and developed this amazing sweet-savoury flavor that is sooooo delicious.

This recipe uses a tiny bit of pomegranate molasses to add a little kick. The recipe is amazing with just balsamic but if you can get your hands on some pomegranate molasses you won’t be sorry. Unless you really don’t like tart flavors then you will be very sorry. Anyway, you can find it any Middle Eastern market.

So you need the following items:


You want your balsamic vinegar to be syrupy. You can achieve this by either buying an aged vinegar or you can just reduce regular balsamic vinegar by pouring it in a saucepan and simmering it until it reduces by half and has a syrupy texture.


Oh, and you need brussels sprouts to make glazed brussels sprouts. Not sure if that was clear.

You need to rinse and trim them as well.



Once you trim them you can peel off the outer layers that may have some grit or bruising on them. 

Then slice them in half.


Place them on a lined baking sheet. As you do, rub them to release some of the leaves (they will become crispy and yummy). 


Can you spot the loose leaves? I used to love those I-Spy books as a kid. Did you? No? You have no idea what I’m taking about? Ok. I’m glad we had this conversation.

Drizzle a little olive oil and as much S&P as you like. I like a lot of freshly cracked black pepper. Or “black crack” as it’s known on the streets (I have no idea what I’m taking about. Shhhh.)


Toss and bake for 10 minutes.


After 10 minutes toss again and cook for another 10 minutes.


When they come out of the oven they should be nicely browned like this:


These babies are great just like this. Roasted brussels sprouts caramelize on their own a little.

I wanted to make them a bit more special, so I drizzled on some thick and sweet balsamic vinegar and a few drops of the pomegranate molasses (a little goes a very long way).


Toss for one last time and take in the amazing smell.


Put these in a bowl and go to town!


When pomegranates are in season I think I’m going to try making this again and sprinkling fresh pomegranate seeds on top for a little sweet surprise. Drool.


This is a great side dish that goes with almost anything. Except, maybe not with curry.


P.S. Type your email in below and make my day. Thanks!


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Cauliflower “Rice”

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 The cauliflower looks yellow because it’s that yellow kind of cauliflower. If you use the traditional white cauliflower it will look more like white rice. The taste however is just as good no matter what color you use.

This is perfect with protein when you want to feel like you’re having rice but you know you shouldn’t. It’s just as easy to make as rice and much more flavorful and healthy.

So let’s get to it! This is what you need:


Super simple. Then you want to undress the cauliflower while telling it that you love it so it doesn’t feel used.


Now you have naked cauliflower. Don’t make it feel awkward by staring. Just get to it!

Chop off the thick stem. 

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Then you want to cut off the little stems as well. Basically, cut off as much stem as you can. 

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 Now, if you have a food processor throw the cauliflower tops in and pulse until they look like little granules.

I don’t have a food processor so I just used a knife like our ancestors did. 

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 Once the cauliflower looks like the pictures above place on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil and season with S&P to taste. 

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 Bake for 25-30 minutes until it looks like this. You can click on the pic to enlarge it. 


I had them with teriyaki chicken as a substitute for white rice. For the teriyaki chicken recipe click here. It tasted really good. Dare I say, better. Much more depth of flavor and totally guilt free. Please try making this!

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Sautéed Mushrooms

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‘Shrooms. You either love them or you hate them. If you hate mushrooms I feel bad for you, son.

My personal favorite are porcini mushrooms, which are in this recipe. You can change the other mushrooms in this recipe if you prefer certain kinds, but I really recommend sticking with the dry porcini mushrooms. They are essential to the depth of flavor of this dish. 

Anway, this is what I used:


Those are stalks of green garlic not leeks or green onions, although you could use those if you like. I got these green garlics at the farmer’s market. They have the texture and consistency of leeks but the flavor and smell of garlic.

The first thing you want to do is reconstitute the dried porcini mushrooms. ‘Reconstitute’ is just an obnoxious way of saying ‘rehydrate’, which is just the scientific way of saying ‘make them soft’. To do this, soak the dried mushrooms in hot water.

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While they soften, chop up the green garlic and the mushrooms if they are large.


Add them to a hot pan with a drizzle of olive oil and don’t toss out the porcini soaking water! This is liquid mushroom gold and you will need it to create this deep rich mushroom side dish that is meaty enough to eat as a main dish.

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Add a few dashes of Worcestershire Sauce, a pinch of garlic powder and onion powder and 1/2 a teaspoon of paprika and most (not all) of a small amount of chopped cilantro. About a small handful.

Cook until the mushrooms have browned and reduced like the picture on the bottom right (or second picture if you are reading this on your phone):

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Make a mushroom-well and add half of the porcini soaking liquid.

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Let the liquid bubble-up and get absorbed by the mushrooms. Add the rest of the porcini juice and let is absorb as well. Mmmm. Porciniiii juuuuice. 

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Garnish w/ rest of cilantro. I had it with a salt and heavily peppered chicken breast sautéed in olive oil. Very rich and satisfying meal and it’s totally gluten free, paleo, low carb (or no carb) and vegan! Ok so it’s not vegan. But if you are vegan the mushrooms are a very hearty and meaty option on their own.



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