This is my Cheat Day recipe.

I’ve been avoiding carbs, grains and dairy for a few weeks now and I feel like it’s time to indulge in some cheese and carbs. Dear God, it’s a holy combination. The heirloom tomatoes are the perfect contrast and so gorgeous and colorful.

By the way, you need a naughty thing for this recipe:

It’s basically butter and flour. Shhhhhhhhh.

You also need these items:

Galbaaaaaani. 

After preheating your oven to 400F the first thing you need to do is slice the tomatoes.

Heirloom tomatoes are the ultimate food porn (that’s an actual term, if you don’t know, I didn’t make it up. If you already knew that I’m sorry for wasting 2 seconds of your life that you’ll never get back. My bad.).

Then, you want to place the tomatoes on a few paper towel sheets and sprinkle them with salt. Allow them to drain for 30 minutes.

This removes any excess moisture so that the tart doesn’t become soggy.

Tomato residue.

Shred some mozzarella.

Once the oven has preheated long enough and the tomatoes are ready, pull out your puff pastry and place in on a lined baking sheet.

Using a fork, prick the puff pastry.

Leave the edge unpricked. Unpricked is not a word. The red squiggly line just made an appearance. Twice.

Top with the mozzarella, leaving an edge again.

Top with the tomato slices.

Drizzle with oil, and then brush the oil on the edges to coat it to help it brown evenly.

Sprinkle on some oregano and black pepper.

Bake it in the oven for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Finish the tart off with some fresh basil leaves.

 Dig in with a glass of wine. Enjoy this Easter weekend!

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Mmmmm…..Horchataaaa. I first had this creamy drink in LA when I was at uni. I’ve had many different variations, but I find that I like my horchata heavy on the cinnamon and with an almond-y taste.

There is no rice in my version because I wanted to make it grain-free, which is the new guilt-free apparently.

You need the following items:

The cinnamon sticks are optional, I just used them for garnish. The sweetener I used is the Skinnygirl liquid stevia, but you can use whatever sweetener you like, or have on hand. If you’re going to use sugar, I recommend using super-fine sugar because it dissolves easily in cold liquids. But of course, don’t stress out about it if you only have regular sugar, make it work boo boo.

Oh, and I ended up grating a bit of fresh nutmeg on top at the end. It’s totally optional, but if you already have some nutmeg at home, add a tiny bit. You won’t be sorry. But, if you are sorry, I’m sorry.

Pour the almond milk into a container of some sort.

Add the vanilla extract.

Then add the cinnamon. Am I the only one who used to say ‘cimmanon’ as a kid? 

I like a lot of cinnamon, but if this amount scares you, add less cinnamon. 

Whisk away. At first it may look like you’re whisking and nothing is happening:

But keep going and eventually the cinnamon will blend into the liquid.

Sweeten to your liking and taste. Adjust for seasonings until you get it just right.

Chill until you’re ready to enjoy!

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(I never understood that, isn’t everyday the first day of the rest of your life? Or is the day you were born the first day of the rest of your life?) Important philosophical questions like these occur frequently on this blog. I’m not fucking around over here. It’s also very professional around here. Ahem.

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So exotic. So pretty. So yummy. A great way to introduce yourself to saffron if you’ve never tried it. It’s also a great way to have saffron a different way if you’ve already had saffron.

Saffron is picked from flowers and is the most expensive spice because it’s so labor intensive to pick them from the flowers. They have a slight sweet and floral smell and taste and they give off the most beautiful golden color when added to rice, desserts or even tea. You gotta try it! For me? Pleaaaasseeeeeeee…..

This recipe is very easy and quick to make. It’s low in calories and the perfect snack to make movie night just a bit more special. I had this popcorn last night while hubby and I watched The Purge for the first time. By the way, that movie is fucking creepy. The chicks in the flowing white dresses and scary smiling masks swinging machetes and singing gave me the most fucked up nightmare. All I’m gonna say is I’ll never wear a flowing dress again.

Anyway, so you need these items:

You can find saffron liquid at most Middle Eastern markets and if that doesn’t work you can get it online by clicking here. You can also soak saffron threads in water to make saffron liquid. The threads are optional if you’re using saffron liquid. I only used a few strands for garnish in this recipe.

You can also use regular salt instead of popcorn salt. I’m just a sucker for food items and tools that are made for one very specific purpose.

Let’s begin. You need a pot, preferably with a clear lid so that you can kind of see what’s happing inside the magical land where popcorn is made.

In the pot add two tbsp of oil and two tbsp of the saffron liquid. Throw in about 3-5 corn kernels, put the lid on and turn the heat on to medium/high.

Shake the pot every now and then to ensure the kernels are coated and that they don’t stay in one spot and burn.

Once all the kernels have popped, you know the oil it hot enough. CAREFULLY, lift up the lid enough to toss in the rest of the kernels. (I used 1/2 cup of unpopped kernels which makes about 5 cups of popcorn).

Once all the kernels are in, keep shaking the pot often and listen to how often the corn is popping. Once there is about 1-2 seconds between each pop, turn off the heat. Keep shaking the pot until you don’t hear anything pop.

Toss the freshly popped popcorn into a bowl. It should have the slightest touch of yellow and smell like saffron. Swooon.

If you like butter on your popcorn, or really love saffron, then drizzle some of the saffron liquid directly onto the popcorn while tossing the popcorn in your other hand.

Now it has little spots of bright orange and the flavor and smell of the saffron should be in full effect.

Add some salt and toss again. 

Yummy in my tummy. Let’s get a close up.

Oh mama. I love popcorn. 

Please make this the next time you crave popcorn. Oh and making it yourself is so much better than using the microwave kind. First, it’s cheaper. Second, it takes about the same time and you can create any flavor you want. Third, you feel like a bad ass. And finally, you don’t want to eat nuked food, if you can avoid using the microwave as much as possible your body and brain will thank you.

That’s it. I’m done with my little speech.

Type your email in the box below to subscribe to my blog and maybe I’ll send you a batch of this popcorn, if I don’t eat it all first.

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Hey guys. So, today is hubby and I’s 7-year anniversary! Whaaaat? 7 years. It’s crazy to think I’ve known that stinker that long hehehe.

Hubby said he has something planned and to dress comfortably. So I’m fresh out of the shower now, dressed and waiting for hubby to get back from getting his hair cut. I don’t have time to post a full on recipe today so I just wanted to let you guys know that I will be back posting recipes soon.

I’ll let you know what we ended up doing and how it went, whether you care to know or not haha.

Happy Sunday Funday!!

Um, ya. That is exactly what it looks like. Uh huh. And yes. Yes, I took a picture of it. 

This post isn’t a recipe because I haven’t gotten around to cooking today. I’m trying a new farmer’s market tomorrow instead of my usual Saturday one so, I should be cooking up a storm soon. Today, instead of going to the farmer’s market, hubby and I grabbed (or gently coaxed) the dogs to come on a scenic drive to the park. 

We had to stop for gas on the way and the dogs (Primo the Chihuahua and Raiden the Siberian Husky) were not at all concerned when hubby got out of the car to pump the gas.

On the way to the park we drove by a beautiful reservoir with a colorful shore (it’s not a shore but like the edge? I dunno man, I just cook). 

The scenic drive was definitely scenic. The clouds were breathtaking:

The landscape was so green and lush.

Primo was taking it all in.

Then he got really excited:

And then we saw cattle grazing on pasture.

We got closer.

And closer.

Holy shit! What the fuck. And I actually took a picture and then zoomed in and took another.

Then I threw up in my mouth a little. And then we drove up some more and saw another cow. Or heifer. Or heifa.

Mmm. Grass-fed beef. Tasty. (IDGAF)

We finally made it to the park!

The dogs were giving me major shade. Bitches.

As we were walking around, I noticed a duck strutting her stuff (I’m assuming it’s a her) by the pond.

I was like “Get it honey! Work it!” And she was like, “Flap, flap, flap!”:

Which in duck language means “Thanks, bitch!”

Then she found some guys and was all, “Girl, bye!”

So, we went along our merry way:

They were merry. I was walking backwards trying to take the picture above without falling all over myself.

Then I saw the duck again and she totally recognized me!

Then she ditched me again. This time for another duck. 🙁

All in all it was a fun day filled with animals and their distinct stench 🙂

Primo was so tired by the end of it.

What did you do this weekend?

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Some of you may have read my post on bee pollen and allergies. If not, go on and click here, hunni. 

Bee pollen has cured my allergies. I mean two days ago I was dying and yesterday after taking one dose of bee pollen I was able to breathe and didn’t sneeze once or blow my nose for hours! Do you know what a miracle that is when you’ve been having severe allergies? 

Anyway, this is what you need:

Local bee pollen, a handful of mint leaves and local or wildflower honey to taste.

Place the mint leaves into a teapot.

Pour freshly boiled water on top.

Place a 1/4 teaspoon of bee pollen into a cup.

*For dosage information, click on the link in the beginning of the post.* 

Add local or wildflower honey to taste. Or to smell.

Pour the mint tea into the cup. 

Stir. Sip. Breathe. Enjoy.

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So, I have been having horrific, horrible, horrendous, whore-ish. Ok, not whore-ish. Basically, I’ve been having really bad allergies. I could barely breathe and it felt like tiny people were inside my nostrils with feathers, tickling me. My eyes were watery and itchy, my nose was stuffy and runny and my emotions? Hysterical. I thought I was dying at one point. No joke.

It got to the point where I was taking Claritin or Allegra everyday and that can’t be good. I was desperate for a natural remedy. So, of course, I didn’t do anything about it. Then came Saturday, which was yesterday, which is also Farmer’s Market Day for me. 

So, there I am, at the farmer’s market. I’m walking past the stands with my reusable tote feeling like I’m single-handedly saving the environment and channeling my inner-hippie when I walk by a honey stand. I love honey so I stopped by and noticed this jar of yellowish brown granules and asked, “What’s that?”

My life changed. I discovered bee pollen and how local pollen and honey are thought to immunize you to the pollen that cause allergies for many people, myself included. I bought some. It totally helped with my allergies! They are not nearly as intense. Can’t wait to see how I feel in a week!

The lady told me to start out taking 1/4 teaspoon everyday in the morning for a week. Then increase to 1/2 teaspoon for the next week. And so, on in 1/4 teaspoon increments until by the end of the month, you have taken 1 teaspoon for a week.

Not sure what to do after that. Am I cured? Or do I keep taking a teaspoon daily? I’ll ask her when I see her. 

Don’t take it straight up like me. It tastes like shit. Not that I know what shit tastes like. Take it with water or in tea.

I will be posting a Bee Pollen Tea recipe soon.